Black Adam

If The Mummy and Shazam had a baby the result would be this. Black Adam is a disastrous attempt at a big budget Superhero movie and another mediocre addition to the DCEU. Sorry Dwayne The Tooth-fairy Johnson, your best movie was Fighting with My Family and nothing is ever going to beat that. Give it up man, this ain’t your gig.

So in the year 2600BC a bunch of Wizards gave the power of the gods to a young slave in order to stop the evil King Ahk-Ton from using the evil crown of Sabbac. He triumphs, making him the Champion of Kahndaq. Now nearly 5,000 years later he his accidently awakened in modern day Kahndaq. Deemed too powerful, it’s time to call in some professionals to deal with him. Cue The Justice League……no wait, that’s not right……The Suicide Squad……oh no, not them either, ah yes, The Justice Society of America……that lot. Made up of Hawkman (Aldis Hodge), Dr. Fate (Pierce Brosnan), Cyclone (Quintessa Swindell) and Atom Smasher (Noah Centineo). And no I’m not making these up. Christ the DCEU is a right mess. I wish they’d just calm down with all the team up movies, it was half-assed before and it’s the same again. For anyone who didn’t already know, yes this is a Shazam spin-off.

Alright I don’t ever want to see slow motion used in another Superhero movie ever again, ya hear me? You ruined it. Black Adam probably could have been twenty minutes shorter if it wasn’t for the extreme overuse of slow motion. Feckin’ ridiculous. Enough is enough. This right here is the result of a bunch of mindless money hungry studio executives sitting in a room and brainstorming a way to make a Blockbuster Superhero movie that will rake in the cash. Get one of the highest paid stars in Hollywood to sign on as the lead and bam! You’ve got yourself a Superhero movie, and a rather heartless one at that.

Black Adam is a giant disappointment and I didn’t exactly have high expectations to begin with. It’s dull, stupid and uses an obnoxious amount of terrible CGI for the endless crashy fight scenes. There’s also plenty of slow motion to make sure you don’t miss anything. And look I know many of the comic-book movies rely on lots of CGI but it’s just not up to standard anymore. Either pay the VFX artists better or allow more time to make it actually look decent.

There is absolutely nothing exciting about Black Adam, it’s one of the most underwhelming Superhero movies I have ever seen. There is zero peril, no sense that the hero is ever in danger or in trouble. They’ve created the blandest character imaginable, a hero so ultimately powerful it’s boring. He’s surrounded by a bunch of underdeveloped characters showing up for more awful CGI fight scenes. Lots of explosions, lightning bolts and evil red lasers.

Black Adam isn’t the worst Superhero movie I’ve ever seen, it’s not even the worst DC movie out there but it’s close. Too close. Recommended for any DCEU fans, I’m sure there’s still a few of you out there. The mid credits scene lasted about a minute but it was better than the entire film for one obvious reason.

★☆☆☆☆