Geostorm

FYI Geostorm did not feature Gerard Butler punching tornadoes with his fists

Due to the devastating effects of global warming the world has united to create a network of satellites and a super space station that controls the weather. But as the tagline so helpfully mentions “some things were never meant to be controlled.” We know where this is going, rogue satellites attacking the earth. Cue the extreme frost, tidal waves, tornadoes and a giant laser for some reason. Enter Gerard Butler. The best damn meteorologist in the world. With the super space station in danger only one man can prevent the looming Geostorm by rebooting it apparently. And that man is Gerard Butler. Hello Gerard, have you tried turning it off and on again?

Geostorm is exactly what is advertises only worse. All you’re expecting is something that’s so bad it’s good. That’s the only thing these kind of movies have going for them. I mean I’m not going to criticise the script, the acting and the plot, it’s not about that. It’s about entertainment value but Geostorm is a fail of epic proportions. You had one job and you couldn’t even do that right. So what is wrong with it? Well the lack of the actual Geostorm for one thing. All the catastrophic weather disasters are all featured in the trailer and the movie itself adds little else. Most of Geostorm is hacking, more hacking, arguing, hacking in space and a kidnapped President. We also get people outrunning tsunamis and extreme frost. All things you’ve seen before only better. So will it entertain you? No. A boring, eye-rolling waste of time. If you’re in the mood for an over the top disaster movie watch The Day After Tomorrow instead.

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