Scream VI

I’m really starting to hate this ridiculous trend of squeezing the whole bleeding cast onto the poster, it’s a Scream movie, there’s only thing you need is Ghostface and a big feckin’ knife

Yes another one. No really another one. Hardcore fans of the Scream franchise may be excited for the sixth instalment of the slasher franchise but more casual fans like myself who only dip in and out are not infatuated enough to get on board with a mediocre sequel. Ghostface needs to take a long hard look at Michael Myers and ask “do I want this to be me?” because that’s the road Scream hurtling towards.

The “sequel to the requel” no one asked for but we got anyway. Picking up from Scream V, the survivors leave Woodsboro behind and are now trying to move on with their lives in New York. But the constant media online conspiracies and the continued fascination with the slasher movies has now led to another serial killer fulfilling their fantasy on Halloween.

Absolutely all the Scream tropes are there, from the blonde doing everything wrong to people with seemingly mortal stab wounds running around whilst not dropping dead from blood loss. Also in there is the return of some legacy characters, no not Neve Campbell, the other ones. If you really care, check out the poster, I’m sure they’re stuffed onto it somewhere. And of course, there’s the resident horror movie buff that lays out the plot for you, all while the movie pokes fun at itself at every opportunity. Yep you’re watching a Scream movie alright, just not a very good one unfortunately.

Whereas Scream V was a surprisingly enjoyable sequel to a jaded franchise, Scream VI is stupid and annoying with an ending that may cause some viewers eyeballs to roll into the back of your head and stay there. It’s nothing close to scary, not funny and the characters are very hard to care about. For me there’s almost nothing working for it, the subway scene was decent but that’s about it. All I felt watching Scream VI was “why are they still making these damned movies and why am I still watching them?” Enough now lads, this has to stop.

Scream VI is gory and certainly has enough stabbings to classify it as a slasher movie but the plot is terrible and just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. Overall this sequel was not as ambitious enough as it should have been, not good enough considering we’re now at the sixth movie of a franchise that pretty much follows the exact same formula each time. It’s just another reminder that the franchise needs to hang up its mask and call it a day. Recommended for diehard fans of the Scream franchise.

★☆☆☆☆

Knock At The Cabin

Knock At The Cabin feels like Funny Games meets The Cabin in the Woods with a bit of Knowing thrown in the mix. The result being an underwhelming and frustrating movie with a good idea and a terrible ending.

Eric (Jonathan Groff), Andrew (Ben Aldridge) and their daughter Wen (Kirsten Cui) take a holiday in a remote cabin in the woods and are very quickly taken hostage by four strangers. The group led by Leonard (Dave Bautista), believe the apocalypse is imminent and the only way to stop it is for this chosen family to make an impossible choice. With no connection to the outside world, Eric and Andrew must decide what to believe before it’s too late. And this is why you don’t take a vacation in a dodgy looking cabin in the middle of nowhere. We’ve all seen enough horror movies to know that isn’t going to end well.

For an M. Night film Knock at the Cabin is surprisingly predictable and hugely underwhelming. Normally I get a lot of enjoyment from Shyamalan’s movies, even the bad ones but this was lacking any tension or horror. The set up was very well done but after that it’s quickly downhill, plodding along until the seemingly dramatic ending it’s been trying to build up to. An ending so awful it just left me annoyed. No spoilers here but there was two obvious endings that they could have gone with and unfortunately for everyone they went with the really dull one that I can’t imagine went down well with most people because honestly it was one of the most lackluster endings I’ve ever seen in a horror movie. This had potential to be a much deeper psychological thriller. A wasted opportunity and apparently didn’t do the book much justice.

Dave Bautista is easily the best thing about Knock at the Cabin, his performance as the hugely intimidating Leonard who the audience is never sure is crazy or not is the only thing that stopped me falling asleep. But what should have been a tense movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat was just unexciting, uninteresting and instantly forgettable.

At this point, there’s far more bad Shyamalan movies than good ones. Enough for me to reconsider whether I should bother anymore. There was lots of wasted potential with Knock at the Cabin so best to go into it with low expectations. Recommended for any of the M. Night Shyamalan fans who liked The Happening, there’s probably not many of you but you might enjoy Knock at the Cabin.

★★☆☆☆

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

The world’s greatest detective (no not you Sherlock, and not you either Hercule Poirot) is back again for another gripping tale. It’s none other than Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig). Now in Greece, Detective Blanc investigates a new murder with a whole new bunch of suspects.

Eccentric billionaire Miles Bron (Edward Norton) invites his dearest friends to his private island for a murder mystery weekend and sure wouldn’t you know it, an actual murder happens. Again you’re presented with a bunch of awful characters all with unique motives and it’s up to the world’s greatest detective to solve the case. With Knives Out director Rian Johnson showed cinema audiences what could be done with the whodunit genre. Highly entertaining, immensely funny and packed full of enough twists and red herrings to keep you engaged, and ensure you enjoy yourself while the mystery unfolds.

Knives Out revived the whodunit genre and since 2019 there has been an increase in murder mystery movies, not all of which have been great let’s be honest. Yet it’s a genre that when done right it’s a real crowd pleaser and Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is just as entertaining as its predecessor. The set-up takes a while to kick off, with a murder mystery the murder should generally happen in the first act and with Glass Onion it happens a bit later than expected, but the Knives Out franchise seems to continually push the boundaries of the whodunit genre and experiments with the rules.

Although I preferred the story in the first Knives Out movie, the sequel has enough laughs and suspense to keep you on the edge of your seat while the different layers of the story unfolds. Each new twist reels you deeper and deeper into the mystery. The script is filled with humour and very clearly drawing from real life events within the last three years. Very topical but most importantly it has another brilliant performance from Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc. It really is a joy to see him again onscreen in a non James Bond role. I really enjoyed this and look forward to another instalment from Rian Johnson and Daniel Craig.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is another enjoyable and entertaining murder mystery. Unfortunately Netflix bought the rights to the franchise and it was only in cinemas for a week, a completely missed opportunity to let this run in cinemas for longer. It’s really better suited to see with a crowd but for anyone who didn’t manage to see it on the big screen it’s available to stream at home from December 23rd. Highly recommended and a definite must see for fans of Knives Out.

★★★★☆

Decision to Leave

Decision to Leave is one of the best films of the year. For all the fans of director Park Chan-wook you won’t need any convincing, for anyone not too familiar with his other movies, you’re in good hands. This is a crime/mystery/romance that will have you utterly captivated.

On a mountain peak in South Korea, a man plummets to his death. As an experienced climber his death appears suspicious. Did he jump or is it possible he was pushed? Detective Hae-joon (Park Hae-il) begins his investigation and very quickly suspects the dead man’s wife Seo-rae (Tang Wei). Everything is not as it seems and as he delves deeper into the investigation he becomes entwined in a sea of deception and desire.

Park Chan-wook has created another masterpiece that’s sure to gain a lot of Oscar buzz. This is filmmaking, an excellent story with superb performances, topped off with some amazing cinematography and music. Park Hae-il as the troubled detective being pulled in two conflicting directions, his job and his heart. Tang Wei as the grieving widow, she gives an amazing performance. It’s a slow burner but the chemistry between Tang Wei and Park Hae-il is brilliant. The story is dark and contains elements you won’t see coming, including some unexpectedly comedic moments scattered throughout. It has an old-school neo noir feel to it. There will be times where you think you’ve figured it out only to have the story dart in another direction. It’s an immersive cinematic experience. A dark romance that even those of you who aren’t big into that genre will love.

What else do I have to say? This is a must see. One of the best films of the year. All you crime movie buffs out there, make sure to check out Decision to Leave. It’s absolutely stunning and highly recommended.

★★★★★

See How They Run

The murder mystery genre is still going strong with another addition, this time from director Tom George. See How They Run is a laugh out loud whodunit that I guarantee all of you will enjoy.

Set in 1950s London and The Mouse Trap’s long running and highly successful play comes to an abrupt halt after a key member of the crew is found murdered. Inspector Stoppard (Sam Rockwell) is instructed to team up with an eager rookie Constable Stalker (Saoirse Ronan) to navigate the glamorous world of theatre and investigate the case.

See How They Run is funny and compact film with a snappy script and a star studded cast. It’s a refreshing look at the whodunit genre while still keeping true to the formula. The story is great and it’s also not afraid to make fun of itself. It finds the balance between paying homage to Agatha Christie murder mysteries whilst also making some jokes on their behalf. Sam Rockwell and Saoirse Ronan make a great onscreen duo and their comedic timing is perfect. Ronan particularly stands out as the incredibly eager to do a great job Constable. She’s infuriating but very likable, put alongside Rockwell’s stone faced and jaded detective was a great move and the results speak for themselves.

See How They Run is hugely enjoyable and very funny murder mystery. This is a genre that’s definitely seeing an increase with the likes of the Agatha Christie remakes and of course the hilarious Knives Out. It’s a popular genre that when it’s done properly it’s worth it and it goes down extremely well with cinema audiences. So movie addicts if you enjoy a good murder mystery then be sure to check out See How They Run. Highly recommended.

★★★★☆

Nope

Well Jordan Peele has done it again with another terrific horror to add to his ever growing collection. If you loved Get Out and Us then be sure to get yourselves to the largest cinema screen possible to see Nope. As always this is a spoiler free review, however, the less you know about Nope before seeing it the better.

OJ Haywood (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald Haywood (Keke Palmer) are horse trainers on a ranch in inland California. They begin experiencing strange and unexplainable occurrences and decide to do some further investigation. The trailer gives you a pretty good indicator to where this movie is going but honestly regarding the plot the less you know the better. The same can be said for all Jordan Peele movies so I’d suggest you try to see Nope with as little information as possible. Peele has expertly blended genres here with Nope, it’s first and foremost a horror as there are scenes that are indeed chilling and will stay with you long after the movie has ended. Yet it’s also a sci-fi movie and a western. That’s three genres you don’t normally see combined together very often, especially like this, but the results speak for themselves.

There’s strong influences from other sci-fi movies and Summer blockbusters, Jaws immediately comes to mind. Particularly when it comes to building up to the spectacle, you’re not sure what you’re dealing with right away and you won’t be shown anything before you need to be. Nope immediately presents you with a hair-raising scene, and from that moment on, the suspense builds before it unleashes the chaos. So yes it’s a little slow to build but I promise the payoff will be worth it. You’re put on edge and kept there while the film follows a similar formula of other great blockbusters, constantly building the suspense. At times it almost feels nostalgic with reminders from other great sci-fi and horror movies along with some real life horrors mixed in there too. At the same time it’s very much it’s own thing and brings some much needed originality to the horror genre.

Again Peele gathers an ensemble cast of great actors, Michael Wincott, Steven Yeun and Brandon Perea, with the stand out performances being Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer as the Haywood siblings. It’s a small cast, which gives plenty of time to get to know the characters and more importantly care about them. Newer horrors seem to be continually falling into the same trap of endless disposable characters just there to be killed, whereas less characters with actual character development is far more effective and when things start going wrong you’re actually invested in what happens to them. They are well written, likeable and more importantly believable characters that react the way you’d expect when the weird stuff starts happening, much to the delight of the audience. Nothing beats seeing a terrific blockbuster in a packed cinema enjoying every minute of it.

I probably sound like a broken record at this point but we’re living in a time where the majority of films nowadays follow the same formula, and you end up seeing the same thing over and over again. Original ideas are always harder to get the green light so I’m always happy to see something new whether I liked it or not. In the case of Nope, I loved it and I’m still thinking about it. If we’re talking favourites, I’d still choose Get Out as my favourite but Nope is a close second.

Jordan Peele is a director who has a clear vision for his movies and you’re always guaranteed something new. Nope is no exception. You’ll jump, squirm and laugh. It balances humour and horror together while experimenting with genres and showing you something you haven’t seen before. To sum it up, it’s a horror/sci-fi/western infused blockbuster that I urge all of you to see. Highly recommended for the Jordan Peele and horror fans.

★★★★★

Where The Crawdads Sing

Based on the bestselling book by Delia Owens, Where the Crawdads Sing has finally made it to the big screen. The book is a terrific and immersive story that you just can’t put down, so expectations were very high. I was a little worried about this adaptation, and despite some surprisingly negative critic reviews I can safely say Where the Crawdads Sing is a great drama/romance/mystery you just have to see in the cinema.

Kya Clark (Daisy Edgar-Jones) is a girl abandoned by her family and left alone to raise herself in the marshes in the Deep South. Shunned by society and completely neglected, Kya lives deep within the marshlands of North Carolina, alone and forced to fend for herself. She becomes engrossed with nature and everything life in the marsh has to offer. But when Chase Andrews (Harris Dickinson) is found dead under suspicious circumstances it isn’t long before the blame is placed on the marsh girl who must then try to prove her innocence in front of a jury of her peers.

Where the Crawdads Sing is an emotional and intense story with a strong central performance from Daisy Edgar-Jones. She was a brilliant choice for Kya the marsh girl. The two male leads by both Taylor John Smith and Harris Dickinson seem to be pretty much lifted straight from the book. The performances from everyone are brilliant with the standouts being Daisy Edgar-Jones and Jojo Regina as the young Kya. A story with this much emphasis on the characters needs to get the casting right, and Where the Crawdads Sing definitely achieved this. It elevates this film to have genuine characters with onscreen chemistry and plenty of time to flesh out the story.

The film itself is a little slow to begin and I feel the flashbacks were handled better in the book. The pacing also seemed to be an issue at times but as the film progresses you become more reeled into the story as you become more and more invested in Kya’s journey. The book brought the marsh to life and was written in such a way that you became fully immersed in it. The film also captured this very effectively and everything from the cinematography and atmosphere to the soundtrack perfectly creates the beautiful landscapes of the marsh. Where The Crawdads Sing almost has an old fashioned nostalgic feel to it. It’s sad, heart-breaking and will hit you in all the feels. It appears that director Olivia Newman took great care in bringing the book to cinemas which can’t be said for every book to movie adaptation.

Look we all know it’s very rare for the movie to be good as or better than the book and the bar was very high for Where the Crawdads Sing. For those wondering, yes the book is better but it’s still a great adaptation that will cater to both those who have and haven’t read it. And sure, some critics didn’t like it for whatever reason but the audience will love it, the screening I went to was packed and you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was completely captivated by the movie. So who are you going to listen to? Have I steered any of you wrong before? Highly recommended for everyone.

★★★★☆

Death on the Nile

An unnecessary remake and not the same standard as Murder on the Orient Express. I’ve played games of Cluedo that had more suspense than Death on the Nile.

Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) and his moustache are back to investigate a murder on the Nile. Newlyweds Linnet (Gal Gadot) and Simon (Armie Hammer) are celebrating their honeymoon surrounded by their friends. But they’re not just their friends, they also happen to be super suspicious so when someone is murdered on board the lavish steamboat everyone is a suspect and it’s up to the greatest detective in the world to solve the crime.

My biggest issue with Death on the Nile is it didn’t have the suspense and mystery I expected from a whodunit movie. Particularly after enjoying Murder on the Orient Express so much. That was a better film with a much stronger cast, also the big reveal was less predictable. Seriously if you don’t know who the murderer is you haven’t been paying close attention because all the signs are there. You don’t have to be the greatest detective in the world to figure it out. Death on the Nile just didn’t work for me, while there’s good performances coming from most, Armie Hammer and Russel Brand stick out. That’s not helped when you put them next to the standard Kenneth Branagh, Annette Bening and Emma MacKey are setting. The casting wasn’t a total disaster, it’s hard not to like Kenneth Branagh and he’s clearly having fun with the role of Hercule Poirot. You just have to try ignore the severe lack of chemistry between Gal Gadot and Armie Hammer when Branagh’s not onscreen. I’m presuming Death on the Nile didn’t film on location, which is fine, it’s not always possible to do this but it’s best to make sure the CGI is up to standard. There was a few scenes with questionable CGI backgrounds which was a distraction.

If we’re looking at the whodunit murder mystery as a genre, I found all the guessing going on throughout Death on the Nile to be tedious and boring. Compared to a modern film in the same genre, Knives Out which not only holds your interest but keeps you laughing and entertained the whole time. I’m just not sure there was a need for a Death on the Nile remake. The original has to be better than this and it just wasn’t as good as Murder on the Orient Express. So please Kenneth enough with the Agatha Christie remakes, they’re of their time and you’re better than this. Recommended for anyone in need of their weekly cinema trip and doesn’t want to see Uncharted, for everyone else it’s skippable.

★★☆☆☆

Scream

Well Ghostface had a look at Michael Myers crawling back from the grave and said “I’m having a piece of that.” Yes that’s right Scream is back and thankfully following a step by step formula of the original classic. It worked so well the first time why not bring it back to basics. Scream 5 is so clearly made by true fans of the Scream franchise that it’s actually hard not to enjoy it. I went in with very low expectations, I thought I’d end up seeing another failed sequel like Halloween Kills but in fact Scream 5 is everything you need in a slasher film while staying as faithful as possible to the original.

The town of Woodsboro is living in peace after the series of murders that occurred twenty-five years ago. Now a brand new Ghostface has shown up to murder more annoying teenagers. If you don’t know who at least one of the killers is within the first ten minutes then you haven’t been paying attention and if you don’t realise there are two killers then you’re definitely in the wrong franchise. Scream is not afraid to make fun of its own movies and horror movie tropes in general. It also takes plenty of time to remind the audience of what will get you killed in a horror movie along with a running commentary on horror movies made over the last twenty years. It’s a perfect mix of comedy, horror and nostalgia. We all know nostalgia sells and is very successful at getting people back into cinemas, and getting the original cast back was the right idea and has paid off.

I wouldn’t say it’s as scary as it could have been, the opening scene particularly tried and failed to recreate the iconic scene in the original Scream. It’s definitely more on the comedy and bloody side of horror movies but it didn’t get a single jump scare out of me. Although it’s not exactly scary it is a slasher movie and it certainly delivers on the blood and gore. It also keeps the trend of everyone magically being able to run around like nothing happened after being knifed or having their stomach slashed open. Sure we all know the way to survive a horror movie is to cover the gushing wound with your hand, limp around for a bit and then break into a full on run like you’re not on the verge of bleeding to death. Don’t obsess over these details, honestly you’ll ruin any potential enjoyment if you start focusing on the inconsistencies. Just sit back and enjoy.

Scream 5 was far better than I expected it to be so well done lads. It delivers everything you’d expect in a slasher movie but that’s enough now, leave it alone. If I see another Scream movie on the horizon in the next few years I swear I’ll feckin’ scream. You’ve pointed out how Hollywood has lost its originality and yes you’re right about that so don’t fall into the same never ending loop that Halloween seems to be trapped in. Please take your own advice and be happy with how this sequel has turned out and move on to something else. Horror franchises aren’t meant to go on forever, even Saw knew it was finally time to stop. Halloween hasn’t quite figured it out yet but they will eventually. Scream is a fitting tribute to Wes Craven. It’s entertaining, ultra-gory and highly recommended for the horror fans.

★★★☆☆

Malignant

A unique take on the horror genre that only James Wan could deliver. Madison (Annabelle Wallis) is suffering from horrific visions of grisly murders. Things get a lot worse for Madison when she realises these supposed dreams are in fact terrifying realities.

I wasn’t at all sure what to expect when watching Malignant and I’d heard quite a few people singing its praises particularly the second half. I have to say when it started I wasn’t overly impressed but as it progresses and Madison’s visions becomes more vivid and gruesome I was intrigued and by the time the third act kicks in it jumped from a two star movie to a four star one. It goes absolutely mental and I loved it. There’s not much else I can say regarding the plot as Malignant definitely benefits from the less you know the better. Although one thing I couldn’t stand was the soundtrack. I personally hated it and every time the music makes its dramatic entrance it’s overpowering and intrusive, honestly it felt like a soundtrack from another movie that just didn’t fit. Every time it kicked in it just began to annoy me. Aside from that Malignant is definitely one of the best horrors of the year. I always appreciate when the horror genre tries something new and Malignant went to a whole new level of crazy.

If you can make it through the first two thirds of Malignant I promise it will be worth it in the end. So horror fans if you haven’t already seen Malignant be sure to add it to your list. Highly recommended.

★★★★☆