Scream VI

I’m really starting to hate this ridiculous trend of squeezing the whole bleeding cast onto the poster, it’s a Scream movie, there’s only thing you need is Ghostface and a big feckin’ knife

Yes another one. No really another one. Hardcore fans of the Scream franchise may be excited for the sixth instalment of the slasher franchise but more casual fans like myself who only dip in and out are not infatuated enough to get on board with a mediocre sequel. Ghostface needs to take a long hard look at Michael Myers and ask “do I want this to be me?” because that’s the road Scream hurtling towards.

The “sequel to the requel” no one asked for but we got anyway. Picking up from Scream V, the survivors leave Woodsboro behind and are now trying to move on with their lives in New York. But the constant media online conspiracies and the continued fascination with the slasher movies has now led to another serial killer fulfilling their fantasy on Halloween.

Absolutely all the Scream tropes are there, from the blonde doing everything wrong to people with seemingly mortal stab wounds running around whilst not dropping dead from blood loss. Also in there is the return of some legacy characters, no not Neve Campbell, the other ones. If you really care, check out the poster, I’m sure they’re stuffed onto it somewhere. And of course, there’s the resident horror movie buff that lays out the plot for you, all while the movie pokes fun at itself at every opportunity. Yep you’re watching a Scream movie alright, just not a very good one unfortunately.

Whereas Scream V was a surprisingly enjoyable sequel to a jaded franchise, Scream VI is stupid and annoying with an ending that may cause some viewers eyeballs to roll into the back of your head and stay there. It’s nothing close to scary, not funny and the characters are very hard to care about. For me there’s almost nothing working for it, the subway scene was decent but that’s about it. All I felt watching Scream VI was “why are they still making these damned movies and why am I still watching them?” Enough now lads, this has to stop.

Scream VI is gory and certainly has enough stabbings to classify it as a slasher movie but the plot is terrible and just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. Overall this sequel was not as ambitious enough as it should have been, not good enough considering we’re now at the sixth movie of a franchise that pretty much follows the exact same formula each time. It’s just another reminder that the franchise needs to hang up its mask and call it a day. Recommended for diehard fans of the Scream franchise.

★☆☆☆☆

Knock At The Cabin

Knock At The Cabin feels like Funny Games meets The Cabin in the Woods with a bit of Knowing thrown in the mix. The result being an underwhelming and frustrating movie with a good idea and a terrible ending.

Eric (Jonathan Groff), Andrew (Ben Aldridge) and their daughter Wen (Kirsten Cui) take a holiday in a remote cabin in the woods and are very quickly taken hostage by four strangers. The group led by Leonard (Dave Bautista), believe the apocalypse is imminent and the only way to stop it is for this chosen family to make an impossible choice. With no connection to the outside world, Eric and Andrew must decide what to believe before it’s too late. And this is why you don’t take a vacation in a dodgy looking cabin in the middle of nowhere. We’ve all seen enough horror movies to know that isn’t going to end well.

For an M. Night film Knock at the Cabin is surprisingly predictable and hugely underwhelming. Normally I get a lot of enjoyment from Shyamalan’s movies, even the bad ones but this was lacking any tension or horror. The set up was very well done but after that it’s quickly downhill, plodding along until the seemingly dramatic ending it’s been trying to build up to. An ending so awful it just left me annoyed. No spoilers here but there was two obvious endings that they could have gone with and unfortunately for everyone they went with the really dull one that I can’t imagine went down well with most people because honestly it was one of the most lackluster endings I’ve ever seen in a horror movie. This had potential to be a much deeper psychological thriller. A wasted opportunity and apparently didn’t do the book much justice.

Dave Bautista is easily the best thing about Knock at the Cabin, his performance as the hugely intimidating Leonard who the audience is never sure is crazy or not is the only thing that stopped me falling asleep. But what should have been a tense movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat was just unexciting, uninteresting and instantly forgettable.

At this point, there’s far more bad Shyamalan movies than good ones. Enough for me to reconsider whether I should bother anymore. There was lots of wasted potential with Knock at the Cabin so best to go into it with low expectations. Recommended for any of the M. Night Shyamalan fans who liked The Happening, there’s probably not many of you but you might enjoy Knock at the Cabin.

★★☆☆☆

Let The Wrong One In

Ah lads, get yourselves to the cinema for Let The Wrong One In for a bit of craic. It’s a fresh take on the vampire genre with a lot of laughs, blood and heart.

In the dark and dreary streets of Dublin, something dark is lurking. Matt (Karl Rice) lives at home with his mam in Dublin, as he’s about to head off to work his life takes a dark turn when he discovers that his older brother Deco (Eoin Duffy) has been turned into a vampire. Matt now needs to decide whether to help his brother or kill him.

Taking horror movie tropes and creating an hilarious, blood drenched laugh out loud movie worth the ticket price. Let The Wrong One In is gas. It’s completely packed full of throw backs to other horror movies, from various Dracula adaptations to The Shining. It’s ridiculous, the dialogue in particular is over the top but at the same time very authentic. The sheer amount of carnage that takes place in this is mental. The vampire genre is certainly one that has been done to death so it’s very refreshing to see a movie take things we’ve seen before and try something new. In this case it plays with vampire movie tropes in weird and hilarious ways. It’s got a surprisingly heartfelt story in the middle of all the blood and gore but overall it doesn’t take itself too seriously at all. It’s a laugh and sure maybe some of the jokes won’t work for everyone but enough of them do. I loved it all, from the horror movie references and especially the return of Anthony Head as a vampire hunter. Where’s the Buffy fans at? If you haven’t taken the time to see Let The Wrong One In Yet then what are you waiting for?

As horror/comedies go Let The Wrong One In is a great addition, it’s funny gory and very entertaining. I’m not going to complain about having a whole cinema to myself but a horror comedy would be a better experience with a crowd. Take the chance to see this in a cinema before it’s gone. Recommended for anyone who enjoyed films like Shaun of the Dead and Boys From County Hell.

★★★★☆

M3GAN

A toy company forgot to install Asimov’s three laws of robotics and violent chaos ensues. M3GAN is a combination of Chucky and Artificial Intelligence with a little bit of Black Mirror and Robocop thrown into the mix. The result being a very entertaining movie that will no doubt spawn a whole new series of sequels.

Gemma (Allison Williams) is a robotics engineer at a toy company who have just created a revolutionary toy that will soon become the must-have for every child. This life-like doll is there to meet all your child’s needs, and with M3GAN around you’ll never need another toy ever again. Gemma has the opportunity to pilot M3GAN (Model 3 Generative Android) with her niece Cady (Violet McGraw). Cady is now M3GAN’s primary user and she is programmed to protect her at whatever cost.

Right away you can see where this movie is going. There’s nothing revolutionary about the story, it’s a combination of other ideas done before yet M3GAN ends up being a very entertaining and unexpectedly hilarious cinema experience. It plays less into the horror and more into comedic moments but it works. Though it’s more than a generic horror/comedy with satirical elements running throughout, and raises issues such as our increasingly reliance on technology and the ethical dilemmas around creating a toy that could arguably be a substitution for parenting. M3GAN doesn’t take itself too seriously at all and plays into the comedy, delivering exactly what you expect.

I saw this in a busy cinema, with everyone thoroughly enjoying the movie. It’s short, predictable with no real surprises, though the M3GAN doll did a lot more singing than I was expecting which is as creepy as it sounds. M3GAN is not going to give you any nightmares, it’s the same level of scary that Chucky and Small Soldiers is. Clearly the violence was toned down to appeal to a wider audience. I wouldn’t quite call this a horror because it really isn’t scary enough, it ends up being more freaky than anything else but it’s highly entertaining in the moment and has enough laughs to keep the crowd happy.

★★★☆☆

Bones and All

Maren (Taylor Russell) is a young woman living with her father who is desperately trying to keep her from acting on her urges to consume human flesh. After a shocking incident she is forced to live on the margins of society where she meets Lee (Timothée Chalamet). She also encounters the terrifying Sully (Mark Rylance), who plays the character so well your skin will crawl every time he’s onscreen. But it’s Lee that Maren is ultimately drawn to and they embark on a journey of self-discovery together.

I guess cannibals need love too, but sorry Luca Guadagnino I just couldn’t buy into the premise of the movie. Bones and All isn’t quite what I was expecting. It’s a mishmash of genres that never really blend together and perhaps there is a good drama/romance about cannibals out there but Bones and All isn’t it. I feel this might have been a better idea to have this as a full-blown horror instead. Let’s be honest, cannibalism is a horrifying topic in itself, it’s right there and sure keep the romance as a subplot but condense that aspect, keep the suspense full on and shorten the runtime. Instead you’re got two characters discovering themselves through their blossoming relationship but also they’re both “eaters” and have the uncontrollable urge to eat people, and after a while the urge becomes so overpowering the only way to satisfy the craving is to find a suitable victim. One half of Bones and All is a very different movie and every now and again you’re reminded that these two are living on the outskirts of society for a bloody good reason.

There are scenes within Bones and All that are genuinely scary but overall I didn’t find that the two genres worked well together. I found myself becoming constantly disengaged with the film as it dragged on and on. My idea of a good cannibal story involves Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal Lector. Taylor Russell and Timothée Chalamet are great onscreen together and have strong chemistry. I feel I tried very hard to like Bones and All but I wasn’t a fan and was relieved when it finally ended.

I love weird films and particularly stories that try something different but this just didn’t work for me at all. It’s hard to find an audience to recommend Bones and All to. I can’t imagine many fans of Call Me By Your Name are going to like this. The trailer gives you a taste of what to expect but I still found it disappointing. Recommended for fans of Raw, there’s a chance you’ll enjoy Bones and All.

★★☆☆☆

The Menu

The Menu is a horror/satire/comedy that’s ultra-sharp and immensely entertaining. If you’re looking for a great movie to see in the cinema this week then there’s no question, this should be your choice.

Young couple Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy) and Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) travel to a remote island to eat at the most exclusive restaurant. They are joined by a group of very wealthy individuals who don’t need to think twice about the cost to eat at such a restaurant where legendary chef Slowik (Ralph Fiennes) has prepared a lavish menu. This isn’t your ordinary menu and the surprises just keep on coming. What begins as a pretentious 10 course meal slowly turns dark and sinister with each new course.

I haven’t seen food look so delicious onscreen since the Hannibal TV show. The attention to detail is incredible. So expertly crafted you may end up coming out of The Menu craving some food. It’s an unpredictable horror that never lets up, and keeps you constantly on your toes. With a chilling performance from Ralph Fiennes as a brilliant chef. He commands every scene he’s in and has a formidable onscreen presence. Put alongside Anya Taylor-Joy and it’s the perfect recipe for an excellent satirical horror. From the moment the guests arrive at the remote island, things feel unsettling and everything about the meal gradually becomes more and more disturbing until it descends into a full blown horror movie.

The Menu has a brilliantly original script for a horror comedy. In the same month we’ve had two great satirical thrillers targeting the ultra-wealthy, between this and Triangle of Sadness. All I’ll say is there’s clearly an audience for this topic and I for one would love to see more of this. Although The Menu and Triangle of Sadness both have completely different stories, they have similar themes running throughout them. So if you enjoyed one, you’ll enjoy the other, seek them out and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

The Menu definitely won’t be to everyone’s tastes, horror comedies certainly aren’t for everyone. If you’re still unsure, the trailer gives you an idea without spoiling anything. It’s gripping, shocking and very entertaining. The Menu is exclusively in cinemas so don’t miss the chance to see it on the big screen. Highly recommended and a must see for those with a dark sense of humour.

★★★★☆

Watcher

Watcher (not to be confused with Netflix’s The Watcher) is a horror/thriller that captures the real life nightmare of a woman being stalked.

Julia (Maika Monroe) leaves New York and moves to Bucharest with her new husband, Francis (Karl Glusman). She is immediately plunged into a state of unease when she sees a stranger watching her in another apartment building across the street. Every time she looks over she sees him standing there staring back. Everywhere she goes she feels like she’s constantly being watched. No matter what she can’t shake the feeling and with news reports coming in of a serial killer murdering women in the area she can’t help but feel this stranger watching her is somehow connected to the killings.

Watcher feels like a movie inspired by Hitchcock’s Rear Window though it’s not a plagiarised version (yeah I’m looking at you Disturbia). It’s got the atmosphere and the continuous sense of unease running throughout. The story itself doesn’t offer any shocking twists or anything deeply original to the genre but what it does have is this incredibly disturbing sense that Julia is being stalked and unable to prove it. The feelings of paranoia grow and grow until they plague Julia and begin to affect every aspect of her life. A lot of people out there, especially women will be able to relate to this. Julia’s terror at the feeling of being stalked but to have everyone around her think she’s exaggerating or making it up. It’s takes a genuine fear and builds a psychological/horror movie around it. We’ve seen Maika Monroe give a great performance in The Guest and It Follows and she is giving another stellar performance here too. As Watcher relies so much on building tension and suspense, a strong performance was needed from the lead and Maika Monroe was perfect for the role.

For a first feature length movie by director Chloe Okuno it’s a good start and I’d be interested to see what she comes out with next. Perhaps it relies a little too much on atmosphere and suspense, and its climax is a little disappointing but this is still a horror movie worth your time. Recommended for anyone in the mood for a psychological thriller.

★★★☆☆

Barbarian

If you arrive at a strange house and Bill Skarsgård opens the door just run the other way and keep on running. It really has been a great year for horror movies, and Barbarian has certainly received a lot of hype. Although it didn’t quite live up to expectations if you’re looking to be scared then Barbarian will do the job.

Tess (Georgina Campbell) arrives late at night in the lashing rain to her Airbnb only to find the place is already being rented to someone else. Handsome stranger Keith (Bill Skarsgård) agrees to let Tess stay as it’s late in a dodgy neighbourhood and because he’s such a gent. Tess continues to ignore the parade of red flags and spends the night in the Airbnb and sure wouldn’t you know it, the place ain’t quite what it seems.

Here’s a horror movie that keeps you on your toes. There’s a lot going on here but despite a very promising first act, it does lose its way only to descend into another generic horror movie ending. Tess bless her but she fell into so many of the horror movie tropes I lost count. If you’re the type to internally scream every time the main character does something stupid well then you are going to be doing that for a good portion of Barbarian. You may have to restrain yourself from shouting at poor Tess to “run woman run.”

Barbarian is a film that lives up to its title with the men portrayed in this ranging from borderline creepy to absolutely monstrous. It definitely had the right idea to try something new and a lot of it works, I can’t go into too much detail as there’s already lots of spoilers online. It’s dark and twisted but doesn’t reveal everything all at once, it tunnels deeper and deeper into more disturbing themes and images and by the third act you’re guaranteed to be well and truly grossed out by that point. You’ll also get your money’s worth because it will scare you without being packed full of cheap jump scares. It’s genuinely frightening particularly everything going on in the first act.

It’s not the most horrific scary movie I’ve seen this year, that is well and truly going to Men, there’s images in that movie that I’ll never be able to unsee. Yet Barbarian is still an original horror that has done amazingly well at the box office. It’s important to have more original scary movies like this, Smile, and The Black Phone and less of tired out horror franchises, yes I’m looking at you Michael Myers. Okay sure Barbarian didn’t quite live up to my personal expectations but a lot of horror fans out there love it. The only way you’ll know for sure is to see it for yourself, highly recommended for all the horror fans.

★★★☆☆

Hatching

A simple idea very well executed and a must see for all those looking for a scary movie this Halloween. And sure there’s an actual Halloween movie out now (yes another one) that could you watch. But do you want the same idea rehashed again or do you want to actually be scared? Make your choice.

12-year-old Tinja (Siiri Solalinna) is a young gymnast struggling under the stress of her demanding mother (Sophia Heikkilä). Tinja finds a strange egg in the woods outside her house and decides to keep it hidden in her room. Instead of noticing her troubled daughter, her mother is far too concerned with her social media addiction and obsession with portraying their lives as the picture perfect family image whereas the reality is far from that. Although it’s clear this isn’t an ordinary egg, when it hatches, what emerges is more horrifying than anyone could have imagined.

Hatching isn’t exactly going to keep you up at night but it’s a great idea and keeps you invested the entire time. Foreign language films generally have an extra edge to them and with this I wasn’t sure at all where it was going. It’s somewhere between a monster movie and a psychological thriller. It’s uneasy viewing alright and becomes more disturbing by the minute. It’s got a lot more depth beneath the surface which ensures it won’t just be remembered as an average horror movie.

And sure look, originality in the horror genre is always refreshing, I love to see new ideas put on the big screen. You’ll always have the likes of the stale Halloween movies or Scream but those painfully generic franchises have long since lost their spark. Hatching on the other hand is a reminder that with a simple idea and a decent script you can make a creepy horror that will scare audiences.

An eerie and atmospheric horror movie done right with the feelings of a dark fairytale running throughout. Highly recommended for all the horror movie fans.

★★★★☆

Smile

Although at first glance Smile has the appearance of yet another generic movie destined for the pile of forgotten horror flicks, I’m delighted to say that much to my surprise it turned out to be scary, entertaining horror movie that all you horror fans out there won’t want to miss.

Dr. Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon) is just about to finish a shift at work when she witnesses a bizarre and traumatic incident involving a patient. Soon after she begins experiencing truly frightening occurrences and visions that she can’t explain. Rose is now forced to confront her grim past in order to survive whatever it is that’s haunting her.

Smile is a movie that will scare you throughout the entire thing. It delivers on the many, many jump scares and it has enough dark undertones running throughout to separate it from other more generic horror movies. It has a lot of elements in it that you’ll recognise from various other horror movies, the most recent one that came to mind was It Follows. But where It Follows fails Smile succeeds. The third act is where many horrors fall down on, becoming ludicrous and silly. Rest assured with Smile, this is certainly not the case. It puts the audiences in a state of unease very early on and keeps putting on the pressure until the climax. All the while keeping the jump scares coming and using unsettling scenes to shock and unnerve you.

Sosie Bacon is a great lead and elevates the entire film. We also need to acknowledge all the actors used to give that nightmarish smile, creepy doesn’t even cover it. All you seasoned horror fans will see the jump scares coming and there’s no big twists but that doesn’t mean you won’t have a good time along the way. Even I jumped a couple of times. Also the poor woman next to me clearly wasn’t able for this, lots of screams and genuine terror so if you’re not able to sit through a tense, scary movie with plenty of jump scares then Smile might just be too much for you.

Sure it’s Halloween season now so if there’s a new horror in the cinema get yourselves there and sit back for a good scare. Many of you know by now that I love a good horror and I’d never recommend a bad one, and sure Smile hasn’t earned a place in the hall of fame or anything like that but it’s a decent horror that all you fans out there are going to like. Recommended for the horror movie fanatics.

★★★☆☆