Death on the Nile

An unnecessary remake and not the same standard as Murder on the Orient Express. I’ve played games of Cluedo that had more suspense than Death on the Nile.

Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) and his moustache are back to investigate a murder on the Nile. Newlyweds Linnet (Gal Gadot) and Simon (Armie Hammer) are celebrating their honeymoon surrounded by their friends. But they’re not just their friends, they also happen to be super suspicious so when someone is murdered on board the lavish steamboat everyone is a suspect and it’s up to the greatest detective in the world to solve the crime.

My biggest issue with Death on the Nile is it didn’t have the suspense and mystery I expected from a whodunit movie. Particularly after enjoying Murder on the Orient Express so much. That was a better film with a much stronger cast, also the big reveal was less predictable. Seriously if you don’t know who the murderer is you haven’t been paying close attention because all the signs are there. You don’t have to be the greatest detective in the world to figure it out. Death on the Nile just didn’t work for me, while there’s good performances coming from most, Armie Hammer and Russel Brand stick out. That’s not helped when you put them next to the standard Kenneth Branagh, Annette Bening and Emma MacKey are setting. The casting wasn’t a total disaster, it’s hard not to like Kenneth Branagh and he’s clearly having fun with the role of Hercule Poirot. You just have to try ignore the severe lack of chemistry between Gal Gadot and Armie Hammer when Branagh’s not onscreen. I’m presuming Death on the Nile didn’t film on location, which is fine, it’s not always possible to do this but it’s best to make sure the CGI is up to standard. There was a few scenes with questionable CGI backgrounds which was a distraction.

If we’re looking at the whodunit murder mystery as a genre, I found all the guessing going on throughout Death on the Nile to be tedious and boring. Compared to a modern film in the same genre, Knives Out which not only holds your interest but keeps you laughing and entertained the whole time. I’m just not sure there was a need for a Death on the Nile remake. The original has to be better than this and it just wasn’t as good as Murder on the Orient Express. So please Kenneth enough with the Agatha Christie remakes, they’re of their time and you’re better than this. Recommended for anyone in need of their weekly cinema trip and doesn’t want to see Uncharted, for everyone else it’s skippable.

★★☆☆☆